« Back to Normal Life...Or is That What I am Leaving Behind? | Main | Happy Birthday! »
August 04, 2005
Parenting Survey
I was just wondering, for all you parents out there, how you have decided how to parent your child(ren). Are the choices you have made, or will make, based upon how your friends, or community you are in, do it? Or have you tried to emulate how your parents raised you? Or have you researched and read book upon book to figure out your own parenting style? Or have you just done trial and error? Or have life circumstances played a role in your decision making? Have you parenting styles changed at all after your first kid? I am thinking about parenting choices such as breastfeed or bottlefeed, and if breastfeeding, when to ween?; How to get your child to sleep; Public school, Christian School, or Homeschool?; Spank your kid or use other methods; How many kids to have?; Stay at home with your kids or put them in day care?; and so on. I don't know why I was thinking about this, but I am just curious to know why people have made the decisions they have made when it comes to parenting. So humor me let me know why you do what you do!
Posted by laini at August 4, 2005 10:56 AM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://chattablogs.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/24477
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Parenting Survey:
Comments
The best advice my parents gave me about parenting was and is:
PRAY PRAY PRAY
I'm sure you have found like me that parenting is the most exciting and most scary thing I have ever tried to do. It highlights my inadequacies like nothing else ever has. It brings me to the cross more often than anything else.
I'm so glad to know that our God is sovereign. I can do nothing to disrupt His will for my children. I stay on my knees (not often enough) before Him and ask Him to guide me in my daily, sometimes minute by minute decisions I make for our children.
I know that doesn't help you know what to do when your kid has been up screaming all night, or what to do when you are wondering if it is time to wean or not, or what to do when it is time to start some form of formal education etc...
so join me and we will...
PRAY PRAY PRAY
P.S. You are a fantastic Mommy!!!
Posted by: sdavick at August 4, 2005 11:11 AM
Okay, I know that was the obvious answer but I don't know what else to tell you.
Prayer and a little bit of everything else you listed, that is the way we do it.
I'm sure most of my parenting style reflects the way I was parented. I have great respect for my parents and I genetically inherited many of their personalities so... I guess it is natural that I do a lot of things the way they did.
Posted by: sdavick at August 4, 2005 11:26 AM
sooo many huge questions. yeah, prayer is about all that could cover all of that. but we both do a lot of what our parents did, as far as I can tell, suplimented with the prevailing wisdom from good friends, and common sense, for what it's worth. we're pretty much always sure to consult with eachother on significant (and even not-so-) decisions.
but if you'd like discussion on these questions here, I'd suggest breaking them up, maybe asking one a week?
Posted by: bobw at August 4, 2005 12:34 PM
We got a bit nausiated by all the advise thrown at us when Emma was born. In the end it all actually helped. It made us think about what we hated and why, what sources had conenient tips that have proved helpful along the way, and what as a whole have actualy were sound and have helped shape who we are as parents now.
I don't say this as a cop-out (as books often are), but Two books that have seemed to help us (I will admit to only having read one of them) have been: Tripp's "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and Gina Bria's "The Art of Family." The first had both practical and philosophical insights; the second, though not coming from the perspecive of our faith, had some wonderful insights and practices that we've found to be good for our home.
But other than books, the others have hit the nail squarely by encouraging prayer and conversation. Sara and I pray with and for our kids at every meal. Not only does this bring what is our biggest burden before the Lord, it reminds us and our kids that we are dependent on His grace - and we desire to see that grace effects their lives.
Sara and I also need to be careful to talk through stuff (that's helps our marriage probably as much as our parenting). I get into trouble both as a dad and a husband when I assume. Talking through the big and little stuff tends to remind us of why we got married in the first place, and helps on so many practical levels it would make this post more long winded than it already is to list them here.
Posted by: Stelmodad at August 4, 2005 01:06 PM
"conenient tips" are the best - always proof read dave, alwaize prufraed.
Posted by: Stelmodad at August 4, 2005 01:08 PM
I wasn't looking for discussion on the specific parenting decisions. I was just wondering what shapes people's decisions when it comes to parenting. For instance, I am wondering if you were to live somewhere else and be in a completely different community of people, would that affect your parenting decisions? Or do you intentionally seek to raise your kids how you were raised? Or have you not really thought through things and you just do what seems to work?
So Bob, maybe someday I will have discussions based on each of those decisions (it would be interesting to know who does what and why), but for now I guess I am wondering more of the logic BEHIND the decisions. Thanks everyone for your comments so far!
Posted by: laini at August 4, 2005 01:38 PM
When you and your wife grew up in divorced homes with extra baggage it forces you to rethink how you raise your kids. This was never really a question for us. I mean we love our folks, as do try to look positively at aspects of how we were raised, but honestly we took the approach of chucking all the norms, look at what seemed positive in your own experiences, look at families that seem to work around you, pray, read, talk, pray, talk, pray...rebuild.
As far as logic, well if our goal is to have kids that love the Lord, work in His service and love folks around them unconditionally... we try, as flawed as we are, to do and encourage things that would work toward that end.
Posted by: StelmoDad at August 5, 2005 07:47 AM
I think since both Bob and I were blessed to be raised in loving Christian homes, we mostly take our parenting from our parents.
That being said, living in such a tight community here has really effected how I will parent and the choices I make. Like I would strongly consider homeschooling, something that neither of our parents did. I've just started reading Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart and he actually talks about the dangers of parenting just like our parents did. Ultimately he wants us to lead our children to Jesus in everything we do. So far I really like his approach and think reading it will change the way I discipline, lead my kids, make big decisions for them (like schooling) etc.
I also think I'm really effected by those I'm around me in how many kids to have. I'm in a community where people have lots of kids and having a large family isn't looked down now and that helps. Our community also helps other decisions to be "easier" ie, being a stay at home mom, breastfeeding, and many other things that aren't mainstream, but feel like they are at our church and in our neighborhood.
All of that to say I think its a combination of things, my parents, my community, books, all things God is using to shape Bob and I as parents.
Posted by: michellew at August 5, 2005 04:22 PM